Working title: 2014

So Christmas is over and I shall spare y’all a full run-down of everything that went wrong and right over the week. It is enough to say that I had a terrible time travelling to Germany, a wonderful time once i got there and an ok journey back. The long train trip was punctuated by anxiety and a little bit of panic now and then which is unusual, so obviously I still need to keep an eye on myself and stick with a few rules for looking after me. My mind has been racing around for months around my professional life and where I’m going with it, and I do suspect I have a tendency to expect myself as a person being strong and infallible on the whole.

So, this is a good time to pause. I love the time “between the years” so much because it’s quieter, restful and gives everyone a chance to take a breath after the chaos that was pre-Christmas. This year, i feel as though the rush and eventfulness of December was bigger than ever. And I’m not taking 100% of time off during the weeks either, as it’s punctuated by lessons here and there. So I think it’s time for new year’s resolutions, and not just that – great, actionable, practical ones. I don’t believe that the change of a calendar date is what prompts us to become people full of Tatendrang and positivity, but it is probably the chance to reflect at Christmas that does it.

So here is to

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I want this year to be good. There is SO MUCH to look forward to: A big chunk of wedding planning, a new direction for Fluent Language, a break. But of course the self-care needs to play a role too, and it’s not always as easy as having a bath and a smoothie. I vow that in the new year I will make some changes. And here they are, so all can remind me I said so:

I want to

  • take a whole week off in January and fill it with hair cut, massages, walks, cookery and library visits. In fact, I’ve just looked at the diary and finding myself compromising already…this looks full, I could do February, maybe 5 days, blah blah blah. But no! This is happening! I am unable to devote a full week to doing nothing, but having moved the majority of lessons to Fridays gives me a Saturday to Thursday timeframe. Stay tuned. I shall publish a full holiday plan, or something.
  • book sessions with the therapist and talk about anxiety, pressure, tearfulness and happy things too. That man is good at his job and I need to get over thinking this isn’t worth the money (it is)
  • enjoy life a little more and stop stressing myself out like crazy (now we are back in vague land)
  • either find a job or write a business plan and I will make an appointment with an advisor at Northern Lights for the first week in January

These are four stated objectives. In other words, the things to focus on in 2014 are going to be me (taking mental health seriously and being healthy and happy), my wedding (next post: I’ll tell you all about my venue) and my professional life (right now it’s messy, soon it will be lessy).

Yes, I know none of that contains learning something new, but let’s focus on those in the near future. If you want to take a peek though, see above. My friend Ruth is inspiring me to draw stuff – something I am not rating myself on, but that is enjoyable enough. It isn’t really drawing either, more just releasing ideas in non-writing. And then there’s Russian learning, with the new course in Lancaster it’s time to make progress.

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